Hummingbird

My first blog post! Brace yourself, it will probably be pretty long. I just created this blog after graduating from high school - the first legitimate milestone in my 18 years of life. Some friends of mine use blogs to write about significant experiences - I had always wanted to try it out but didn't think I would have anything interesting to say! In all honesty I was the typical high school student - freaking out about the smallest test, friend or boy problem, or Facebook picture - who wants to read a blog about that? My senior year was still full of these pointless stressors, but in the back of my mind I knew I wanted more out of life, something I would be proud of writing about. An epiphany slowly made its way into my life over this year of "lasts", but hit me hard this past week. Graduation is a bittersweet event - I am happy to leave a restrictive, narrow-minded environment full of people that didn't understand or care about me, but I am scared of the change and loss I am already starting to experience. To add to the mix of emotions, the past month has seemed like a huge whirlwind. Final exams, graduation parties, my 18th birthday, the graduation ceremony, and beach week - it all came crashing at once, and I didn't feel "present" at these important events. Graduation was quick and didn't feel real. However, the ceremony was really nice - one of my best friends, Annie Turner, made the most perfect speech for the occasion as class president. Everything I had been thinking but couldn't say was embodied in her words. (click here to read her graduation speech and visit her blog!) Her main point was the fact that out of every piece of advice for our future, the most important is to just be happy. That's it. The Dalai Lama quote she used had the same theme as my recent growing thoughts. "The purpose of life is to seek happiness. Happiness is determined more by the state of one's mind than by our external conditions, circumstances, or events. The key to happiness is in our own hands." I just love that. Annie's friendship and genuine personality remind me to enjoy these experiences instead of feeling overwhelmed by them.

Annie made the whole experience of graduation really surreal, not just through her speech. None of us felt particularly sad at graduation because the idea of us all leaving still seems so far away. However, Annie had to leave the day after graduation - literally hours after All Night Grad - to start summer term for her university. We were reminded of the reality we would soon face - change. She is so strong for jumping right into the what we are all scared to face. (photo from Herndon Patch)

Me (third from the right) and six of my best friends after graduation. I'm so proud of these girls for sticking together throughout the past four years. I don't know what I would have done without their support.

And then there's me, getting recognized with 50-some other students who had a 4.0 GPA all four years of high school. Nerd status wooot! (photo from Herndon Patch)


Again, feels like a dream. We all had so much fun afterwards at All Night Grad, running around playing games, winning prizes, and celebrating. Before leaving I hugged Annie and said "see you later", because I don't believe in goodbyes. And then I just picked up and left for the Outer Banks, which made everything more unreal - I had no time to process what had just happened. I had the time of my life with a great group of people - not having an agenda, going where we wanted to go, doing what we wanted to do - that was the best experience I could have asked for after such a crazy year. Many nights I would sit outside on the beach or the roof of our house with different people, talking about life and what's next. I realized that although high school is all I've ever known, it will be such a small part of my life in 30 years to come. Even some of my best friends may become distant memories. Although it's a depressing thought, it's amazing to be at this crossroad. I can do anything with my life - and that freedom from the structure thus far is a feeling I've been waiting for. However distant memories are, they still won't be forgotten. I will never forget the carefree feeling I had at beach week:

Making a music video to Sam Adam's "Driving Me Crazy" :)

We had theme nights...can you guess that this was rave/ke$ha night?!

Jungle Night!

Me, Melissa, Chloe, and Brittany on the beach the last day :)

So, in conclusion, I've learned more about myself, my friends, and my life in the past month than I have probably in all of high school. I can gladly say that I am the person I want to be at this point - a happier, more grounded adult that is ready for what life throws at me next. Little worries are now replaced by small joys. That's why I titled this post "hummingbird" - the perfect symbol for my new life that doubles as my pretty blog background ;) I researched their meaning and found that "in Native American culture, a hummingbird symbolizes timless joy and the nectar of life. It's a symbol for accomplishing that which seems impossible will teach you how to find the miracle of joyful living from your own life circumstances." Perfect.